Positive Discipline

Using Positive Discipline to Create Respectful Relationships in Homes and Schools

The use of Positive Discipline involves non-punitive methods to deal with defiance, backtalk, power struggles, lack of motivation, whining, strong-willed children, etc., while helping children learn valuable social and life skills for good character without ever resorting to yelling, screaming, lectures, time-out, groundings, spanking or rewards.

What do you think of when you hear the word “discipline”? Most people think of punishment. Think a little deeper: starting with the exploration of the long-term results of punishment. When children are punished they do not learn self-discipline. Punishment provides “external” motivation. Self-discipline requires “inner” motivation.

When parents say, “My child doesn’t listen,” what they really mean is that my child doesn’t obey. Parents give orders and children resist orders—just as their parent most likely would. If you are experiencing power struggles with your children, take a look at your part in creating the power struggle. If one feels the need for a creature who is obedient, please go out and get a dog. Children are social beings who will cooperate happily based upon the results of effective problem-solving, not based on the fear of punishment.

Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen and co-authors Lynn Lott, Cheryl Erwin, Kate Ortolano, Mary Hughes, Mike Brock, Lisa Larson and others, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults.

FIVE CRITERIA FOR POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

  • Helps children feel a sense of connection. (Belonging and significance)
  • Is mutually respectful and encouraging. (Kind and firm at the same time.)
  • Is effective long - term. (Considers what the child is thinking, feeling, learning, and deciding about himself and his world – and what to do in the future to survive or to thrive.)
  • Teaches important social and life skills . (Respect, concern for others, problem solving, and cooperation as well as the skills to contribute to the home, school or larger community.)
  • Invites children to discover how capable they are. (Encourages the constructive use of personal power and autonomy.)

Positive Discipline is one of many Healing Techniques that can be used in Family Counseling and general Counseling.